When it started, I cannot say. How
it started, I cannot say. All I know is, this morning I woke up and quit my
job. Luckily, said job involved me taking dirty dishes off of lavishly
decorated tables into a messy contaminated kitchen where they would be washed
and then filled to the brim with some sort of Italian sauce and pasta. On the
weekends, I was granted the privilege to step away from bussing tables and
instead construct and plate hundreds of tiny salads accompanied with a variety
of dressings. This means it was an easily replaceable job. As a matter of
fact, two minutes after quitting I was hired elsewhere. Where? I will be my
Father’s secretary at the business he owns. I cannot tell you what his job
entails. No, it’s not because I would have to kill you afterwards. It’s because
I have no clue what the man does. Sometimes he takes phone calls and sometimes
he is “busy” (playing Farmville). He
believes that I will be learning about the family business and acquiring
knowledge of the business world. I can’t say that isn’t true. I very well may
learn a few things, all the while listening to Pandora in the background.
Already, this job seems more satisfying and I haven’t even started yet.
The problem with bussing tables was
that I was looked at and spoken to like I was the leftover Bruschetta that I
would later scrape into the garbage can. I did my best to blend in and not make
myself noticeable to the owners of this fancy little Italian restaurant.
Obviously, I was unsuccessful. It was probably my ill ironed shirt and my
unmistakably lack of enthusiasm that made them zoom in on all my mistakes.
These are just some of the things that these oh-so-kind business owners taught
me during my three month work period as their bitch.
1.
A towel should never be referred to as a “rag.”
Doing so, apparently, makes you seem uneducated and unprivileged. Though, I
will argue that I use TOWELS to dry my body after showering and a RAG to clean
the countertops in my kitchen at home. Do I need to reiterate the fact that I
bused tables? I was not a professional body dryer, in which case, I would use a
TOWEL.
2.
Always leave the back of your shirt un-tucked.
This will allow you the pleasure of having a fifty-something year old Italian
woman shoving her hand down the back of your pants to “get that for you”. This
was a real satisfying experience for me. I would recommend that this happen at
every work place. It really gives you a new perspective to the Boss/Worker
relationship.
3.
When sweeping outdoors, you want to make sure to
include the flower beds. You wouldn’t want to miss out on all the fun dirt
action going on there. Once, I missed doing this. Don’t worry, my boss showed
me how it was done. It appeared that I liked sweeping flower beds so much I was
given the chance to continue doing so off the clock. I swore to myself that I
would make this my new hobby. I am sorry to say that since that magical October
night I have not participated in said activity. That will change tonight. Good
thing it snowed two days ago, this will be fun and rewarding on a whole new
level.
4.
Never ask a customer, “Sir, are you still
working on your dinner or would you like for me to box it for you?” Always say,
“Sir, are you enjoying your meal...” I’m unaware what is supposed to follow
this eloquent first part of the question. I will leave it to your own judgment.
Go with what seems comfortable. I would, however, not end it with, “…or does it
taste like shit?” That just doesn’t seem acceptable to me. Then again, I don’t
own a restaurant. So, give it a whirl and see what happens.
There is plenty more that I learned
during my time as a busser, I just don’t have the interest in sharing about
them any longer. I have found these tidbits to be enough to please myself and
feel as though they won’t matter by tomorrow. When that happens, my point will
be proven. I will forget my time as a busser as bussing will forget me; I pray.
All that I have left to say is directed to my ex-bosses. Taste the Italian
dressing at the salad bar. Oops.
