Confession: I have an irrational fear of public bathrooms.

Confession: I have an irrational fear of public bathrooms. Upon entering said bathrooms, I find myself checking underneath each stall for unexpected guests of a horror story variety. I then follow up with a second check by opening each door to make sure there aren’t any sneaky murderers standing on top of the toilet seats waiting to pounce on me in my most vulnerable position.  This could happen. In fact, I’ve seen it happen.  In 1996, a young high school student named Sydney entered her schools bathroom to take care of business. Whilst washing her hands she heard a man whisper her name. Immediately, she dropped to the ground and scanned for feet in the stalls. No one was visible, so she collected herself and stood to leave. Mistake! All of a sudden a man in a mask steps off of a toilet seat and emerges from a stall. The masked man proceeds to chase Sydney with a knife. She got away, but I cannot imagine that I would be as lucky.

Okay, so the story may sound familiar to you because it is from the movie Scream. This movie came out when I was four years old, and I saw it for the first time when I was six. You may be thinking, “What kind of parent subjects their six year old child to a film filled with violence and sex?” To answer your question: mine. And I thank them for that. If I hadn’t seen Scream or witnessed Sydney getting attacked in a public bathroom I would be just like the rest of you, carelessly entering bathrooms. When and if I ever die, I want it to be an amazing story not, “Young Woman Enters Public Bathroom but Never Leaves. Vampire? Maybe.”. I’m pretty sure that’s what the headline of every major newspaper would read if I do get murdered while taking a pee break during the next Twilight movie.